Post by Deleted on May 24, 2020 2:42:43 GMT -8
We come back to life and we see Hannah remain stoic, drinking her coffee, a few minutes have passed, Melissa, is chewing on her bottom lip, her eyes are red raw through her glasses, she lets her hair down, so the bangs cascade along her cheeks
Maki: So where were we? Oh yeah so you know I just met Tommy Starr. Okay so over the next few weeks we began dating. It was nice. I finally found someone who could handle my mood swings, make me laugh, interpret my brand of craziness. He was so much fun and he was in a band called Kingdom of Loyalty. I know, right? Stupid young, fairly innocent, female wrestler dates rock star cliché. Yet, he wasn’t really a rock star. He played drums for the band but they were not big at all, they opened for some big bands, they had a couple albums out but they barely scraped by. What was amazing to me was he never let it affect him as a person in those first months.
Hannah harrumphs at this and looks to her left at Maki but doesn’t say anything
Maki: By the time you have watched this whole thing you will have made a judgement on him and possibly on me. Which is fair enough, but even now I have to think back to this time and remember how good it was to be alive. To be mentally stable, happy, carefree and being me, also a little reckless. My career wasn’t at its greatest point. To be honest, I feel that, my career is probably at the best it has ever been right now.
Hannah: So you’re telling them and me this for the first time. We didn’t even know him or of him until the destruction began. Mel, you should have known better. All your life you have trust issues and the one time, the one person you give yourself over to is a fucking parasite?
Melissa sighs, puffs on her vape in silence
Maki: Han, please don’t start now. Anyway, things did go well at the beginning. As I said, he had a zest for life, nothing kept him down for long, I was kind of swept away by it all. I went from match to pub or wherever Tommy’s band played, then out partying, forgetting my training. Lack of gym time was affecting me, the lifestyle was putting me on a losing streak. I just didn’t know or seem to care where my career or life were going. I thought I was in love with him but looking back I knew I wasn’t and I have never been in love in my life. I guess it is why I act the way I do sometimes with women or men I am crushing on or in a relationship with. I get infatuated and then they let me down but I am still looking for this one person I can fully fall in love with.
She vapes some more and then smiles
Maki: As I said, I was getting concerned, not just about my career but also about money, as you may not realise, I am not loaded with cash. Of course, as a fan of mine, you may think I am, you may think it’s easy flying everywhere, staying in hotels, fighting against the grain and scraping by but it isn’t. In English money I make about £30-40k a year now but that is because I am in a decent federation and even fight in other ones too. Even then I am having to go cross brand just to have a good wage. So remember kids, buy the merchandise, it really does help me to be able to do what I do for your entertainment.
So yeah, as you know by now, I go off on tangents. My mind whizzes around, I apologise again if it is a little confused and disjointed. Tommy’s idea about money was to live together. This sounded abhorrent to me as I am a creature of control; I like my space, I love having my own freedom but he kind of pushed it on me. We were going to live in my apartment in Boston and he would rent his apartment out and that way we would have that extra income. I know what you’re thinking. Foolish mistake. A predator. Red flag city! Yes he was those things. You’re right. I am a dumb bitch. I lost myself for the third time in my life. I have literally just come out of losing myself for the fourth time with Quinn. So yeah lessons learnt eh? Not my forte really that. I kind of regurgitate the same mistakes over and over again I guess.
Hannah’s face is starting to get redder with every word spoken by Melissa but she is containing it
Maki: So we lived together. He started to slowly use my bank account, he started to cut my parents off, my friends, even Brett to a degree but he didn’t mind him as much, Hannah barely spoke to me as she thought I hated her. I seen shows on TV where the predator, usually a guy, does this and I shake my head and think to myself, 'You dumb fucking bitch, can you not see what he is doing?' But it isn’t so easy when you are living it. Trust me.
Hannah shakes her head sadly and Maki shrugs
Hannah: Melissa, we would never have allowed this to happen, but you cut yourself off because you thought you were in love with SOME FUCKING GUY! You turned your back on us because some greasy haired fucking loser made you do it. For some reason mum and dad and Charlie let you off as you are back in the fold but not me. I had my best fucking friend, my sister, my big fucking sister leave me behind because of this wanker!
Maki: It wasn’t me, Han. I never wanted to hurt any of you, I never wanted to be away from you. Han, you have no idea how I missed you all and I still miss you, I miss the way we were before. I understand you have been through hell but no one has been through what I went through. You all say how much pain you were in, but think about ME. I was beaten up and raped on a constant basis, were you? NO! So fuck off with this. I have apologised, I am sorry for what happened, I wasn’t me!
Hannah wipes her eyes and walks off camera to get another coffee. Melissa lets the tears flow, bites her lip again
Maki: Okay, so that wasn’t how I wanted this part to go. I didn’t want you viewers to know that at this junction but there you have it. So now you know I was part of domestic abuse and rape. I will cover this later as I am building up to what happened as it is so fucking painful. That will also lead into the end of that relationship, if you can call it that, and the beginning of Daniela my demoness. I think I will get a coffee too and start on part three. While you digest these events please remember I do not want sympathy, I do not want you to fight for me or feel bad for me. It is what it is. Its shaped me, maybe if I hadn’t gone through this I would not be the mentally insecure, demonic possessed, kick arse wrestler I am today. So thank you for watching and listening. Just be warned that the next part of this Vlog is going to be very dark and extreme so please err on the side of caution if you are still interested.
She blows a kiss to the camera, as we go dark
Maki: So where were we? Oh yeah so you know I just met Tommy Starr. Okay so over the next few weeks we began dating. It was nice. I finally found someone who could handle my mood swings, make me laugh, interpret my brand of craziness. He was so much fun and he was in a band called Kingdom of Loyalty. I know, right? Stupid young, fairly innocent, female wrestler dates rock star cliché. Yet, he wasn’t really a rock star. He played drums for the band but they were not big at all, they opened for some big bands, they had a couple albums out but they barely scraped by. What was amazing to me was he never let it affect him as a person in those first months.
Hannah harrumphs at this and looks to her left at Maki but doesn’t say anything
Maki: By the time you have watched this whole thing you will have made a judgement on him and possibly on me. Which is fair enough, but even now I have to think back to this time and remember how good it was to be alive. To be mentally stable, happy, carefree and being me, also a little reckless. My career wasn’t at its greatest point. To be honest, I feel that, my career is probably at the best it has ever been right now.
Hannah: So you’re telling them and me this for the first time. We didn’t even know him or of him until the destruction began. Mel, you should have known better. All your life you have trust issues and the one time, the one person you give yourself over to is a fucking parasite?
Melissa sighs, puffs on her vape in silence
Maki: Han, please don’t start now. Anyway, things did go well at the beginning. As I said, he had a zest for life, nothing kept him down for long, I was kind of swept away by it all. I went from match to pub or wherever Tommy’s band played, then out partying, forgetting my training. Lack of gym time was affecting me, the lifestyle was putting me on a losing streak. I just didn’t know or seem to care where my career or life were going. I thought I was in love with him but looking back I knew I wasn’t and I have never been in love in my life. I guess it is why I act the way I do sometimes with women or men I am crushing on or in a relationship with. I get infatuated and then they let me down but I am still looking for this one person I can fully fall in love with.
She vapes some more and then smiles
Maki: As I said, I was getting concerned, not just about my career but also about money, as you may not realise, I am not loaded with cash. Of course, as a fan of mine, you may think I am, you may think it’s easy flying everywhere, staying in hotels, fighting against the grain and scraping by but it isn’t. In English money I make about £30-40k a year now but that is because I am in a decent federation and even fight in other ones too. Even then I am having to go cross brand just to have a good wage. So remember kids, buy the merchandise, it really does help me to be able to do what I do for your entertainment.
So yeah, as you know by now, I go off on tangents. My mind whizzes around, I apologise again if it is a little confused and disjointed. Tommy’s idea about money was to live together. This sounded abhorrent to me as I am a creature of control; I like my space, I love having my own freedom but he kind of pushed it on me. We were going to live in my apartment in Boston and he would rent his apartment out and that way we would have that extra income. I know what you’re thinking. Foolish mistake. A predator. Red flag city! Yes he was those things. You’re right. I am a dumb bitch. I lost myself for the third time in my life. I have literally just come out of losing myself for the fourth time with Quinn. So yeah lessons learnt eh? Not my forte really that. I kind of regurgitate the same mistakes over and over again I guess.
Hannah’s face is starting to get redder with every word spoken by Melissa but she is containing it
Maki: So we lived together. He started to slowly use my bank account, he started to cut my parents off, my friends, even Brett to a degree but he didn’t mind him as much, Hannah barely spoke to me as she thought I hated her. I seen shows on TV where the predator, usually a guy, does this and I shake my head and think to myself, 'You dumb fucking bitch, can you not see what he is doing?' But it isn’t so easy when you are living it. Trust me.
Hannah shakes her head sadly and Maki shrugs
Hannah: Melissa, we would never have allowed this to happen, but you cut yourself off because you thought you were in love with SOME FUCKING GUY! You turned your back on us because some greasy haired fucking loser made you do it. For some reason mum and dad and Charlie let you off as you are back in the fold but not me. I had my best fucking friend, my sister, my big fucking sister leave me behind because of this wanker!
Maki: It wasn’t me, Han. I never wanted to hurt any of you, I never wanted to be away from you. Han, you have no idea how I missed you all and I still miss you, I miss the way we were before. I understand you have been through hell but no one has been through what I went through. You all say how much pain you were in, but think about ME. I was beaten up and raped on a constant basis, were you? NO! So fuck off with this. I have apologised, I am sorry for what happened, I wasn’t me!
Hannah wipes her eyes and walks off camera to get another coffee. Melissa lets the tears flow, bites her lip again
Maki: Okay, so that wasn’t how I wanted this part to go. I didn’t want you viewers to know that at this junction but there you have it. So now you know I was part of domestic abuse and rape. I will cover this later as I am building up to what happened as it is so fucking painful. That will also lead into the end of that relationship, if you can call it that, and the beginning of Daniela my demoness. I think I will get a coffee too and start on part three. While you digest these events please remember I do not want sympathy, I do not want you to fight for me or feel bad for me. It is what it is. Its shaped me, maybe if I hadn’t gone through this I would not be the mentally insecure, demonic possessed, kick arse wrestler I am today. So thank you for watching and listening. Just be warned that the next part of this Vlog is going to be very dark and extreme so please err on the side of caution if you are still interested.
She blows a kiss to the camera, as we go dark
