Post by Captain Cosmo on Aug 6, 2024 17:09:22 GMT -8
We open up to the outside of the Vlad Blackheart Colosseum where we see Captain Cosmo dressed in a suit littered with space related imagery as he waves and grins widely into the camera.
Captain Cosmo: Ah yes! Hello, humans and fans of the Wrestling of the New Frontier! Captain Cosmo here! The Greatest Vlad The Blackheart Tournament Of Memorial Interviewer Of All Time! TGVTBTOMIOAT for short!
Cosmo motions to the Colosseum behind him.
Captain Cosmo: We are standing outside the Vlad The Blackheart Colosseum! Which as you can see, friend Steven still has not updated the name of! Perhaps Captain Cosmo could catch him before he leaves to remind him again!
The Captain shrugs.
Captain Cosmo: Anyway! Captain Cosmo has just finished spending the day inside the Vlad The Blackheart Colosseum interviewing participants involved in the Vlad The Blackheart Tournament Of Memorial that is coming up soon! So please sit back! Perhaps grab yourself some sustenance! Maybe a cold beverage of some sort?! And enjoy this selection of interviews! Cue the extremely expensive, super cool, epic transition!
Captain Cosmo: Ah yes! Hello humans and fans of the Wrestling of the New Frontier! Captain Cosmo here! The Greatest Vlad The Blackheart Tournament Of Memorial Interviewer Of All Time! TGVTBTOMIOAT for short! And he is being joined by one of the many participants in this wonderful tournament! He is the Raider of Richmond! The Dragon! Travis… Levitt!
Cosmo now turns to Levitt.
Captain Cosmo: Welcome, friend Travis! Captain Cosmo here! Let us get right into it, shall we?! Have you seen the Cosmic Pug?!
Travis takes a moment to glance around, looking left and right and then tilting his body to stare behind Cosmo for a moment, but then leaning back and shaking his head, a smile stretching his lips.
Travis Levitt: Hello Captain Cosmo. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I can’t say I have seen the Cosmic Pug, but I will certainly keep my eyes open. It could be anywhere. I have seen some Galactic sized bitches, but that’s a different thing, yes?
The Captain turns to the camera and shrugs his shoulders.
Captain Cosmo: Captain Cosmo has no idea what you are talking about!
Cosmo now turns back to Levitt.
Captain Cosmo: Are you a sympathizer or in cahoots with the dastardly Emu Federation?!
Travis immediately scowls and shakes his head.
Travis Levitt: Absolutely not. I had friends that survived the great Emu/Kangaroo wars down under. Emu’s are never to be trusted or tolerated. Let's put em on a rocket and blast em to the moon, the long-necked bastards.
The Captain points to Levitt and nods.
Captain Cosmo: Captain Cosmo likes your style, friend Travis! He also commends your friends for surviving against such a tragedy! However we must move on! Can you breathe fire?!
Travis Levitt: Only on very special occasions. I used to do it a lot more frequently, but it leaves a nasty ash taste in my mouth afterwards. Nowadays I save it for when it’s really needed or earned. Think breathing fire might help me in the Vlad Memorial Tournament, Captain?
Cosmo shrugs.
Captain Cosmo: It is possible… although it could very well be deemed illegal! Very well! In that case, since you have proven yourself to indeed be a dragon of some sorts… next question! What have you raided from Richmond?!
Travis Levitt: My father’s liquor cabinet a few times.
Travis gives a gentle shrug but then grins and shakes his head as he looks at the Captain.
Travis Levitt: No. The... uhh Raider from Richmond is a tribute to how I broke out in the business. Alongside my best friend Pezza as the VA Raiders. He’s long retired, but I’ll be a Raider for life.
The Captain ponders for a moment.
Captain Cosmo: Captain Cosmo believes he understands what you mean by that, friend Travis! Very well! Final question! What do you have to say to all of the other participants involved in the Vlad The Blackheart Tournament of Memorial?!
Travis Levitt: One simple message, Captain. Just because this is my first Vlad Memorial, doesn’t mean I’m an easy out. There’s a chance at the World title on the line, and that means I’ll be bringing my best. And this year, especially, I’m doing it for Ailyn. My protege would have loved her chance in this, but since she can’t compete, I damn well will. Vlad ON, Dragonites!
Travis raises a fist to point it at the screen and then swings it towards Cosmo, eyeing him and waiting for his reaction. At first, the Captain is taken aback, probably thinking Levitt was about to strike him, however after a long awkward pause where both men look to the right and then to the left, Cosmo eventually gives Travis a fist bump before turning to face the camera.
Captain Cosmo: Well there you have it, fans! Friend Travis is ready to show everyone that he is not going to be an easy win for everyone else! We shall see just how far this Dragon goes live from this very building starting on August 28th! Commence with epic transition… now!
Captain Cosmo: Ah yes! Hello humans and fans of the Wrestling of the New Frontier! Captain Cosmo here! The Greatest Vlad The Blackheart Tournament Of Memorial Interviewer Of All Time! TGVTBTOMIOAT for short! And right now please welcome the cat that is wild! The Kingdom’s own! Stephanie… Kenyon!
Cosmo now turns his attention to Kenyon.
Captain Cosmo: Welcome, friend Stephanie! First question! Have you seen the Cosmic Pug?!
Stephanie just grins like she’d been expecting this and is just tickled to hear the question for real.
Stephanie Kenyon: Ain’t seen any pugs in a while, cosmic or just plain cute earthbound ones.
Captain Cosmo: Very well! Are you a sympathizer of or are you in cahoots with the dastardly Emu Federation?!
Again, Stephanie can’t help but grin.
Stephanie Kenyon: Can’t say I’ve had the pleasure of seein’ any of them either.
The Captain nods.
Captain Cosmo: That’s good! Next question! You say that you are a cat that is wild, yes?! Where are your claws?!
She holds up her hand.
Stephanie Kenyon: Had ‘em trimmed. The others in the Kingdom like me to be well-groomed.
Cosmo looks around and then shrugs, accepting her response as a viable answer.
Captain Cosmo: Do you have sharp teeth?!
Stephanie frowns and then taps at her teeth.
Stephanie Kenyon: I don’t think they’re any sharper than anyone else’s…
She pauses before shrugging.
Stephanie Kenyon: Cept maybe them people that wanna be vampires and so file ‘em weird.
The Captain folds his arms and taps his chin in contemplation.
Captain Cosmo: What about your fur?! Do you have a tail?! Can you roar?!
She shakes her head, running her hand through her hair.
Stephanie Kenyon: My hair I like to think is relatively nice. My tail…
She shakes her ass.
Stephanie Kenyon: I mean, I get compliments. As for roaring, I purr more than roar, usually, but only for the Kingdom.
Cosmo places his hands on his hips.
Captain Cosmo: Captain Cosmo supposes he can accept those answers! You are indeed a cat that is wild, friend Stephanie! Final question! What is your message for everyone else participating in the Vlad The Blackheart Tournament of Memorial?!
Stephanie Kenyon: I’m here to prove that I deserve to be a Kenyon and with the Kingdom and I’m gonna show the world what all I can do. I hope by the time it’s over, I am finally worthy of sayin’ them words that everybody else in the Kingdom says. I haven’t yet because I haven’t earned that right yet but hopefully soon, I will!
The Captain turns his attention back to the camera.
Captain Cosmo: Well there you have it, fans! The cat that is wild, Stephanie Kenyon has vowed to prove herself as she takes on the Vlad The Blackheart Tournament Of Memorial! Will she succeed?! Or perhaps she will fail?! Make sure to tune into the Vlad The Blackheart Tournament Of Memorial live from this very building starting August 28th! Cue epic transition!
Captain Cosmo: Ah yes! Hello humans and fans of the Wrestling of the New Frontier! Captain Cosmo here! The Greatest Vlad The Blackheart Tournament Of Memorial Interviewer Of All Time! TGVTBTOMIOAT for short! And please welcome Captain Cosmo’s guest! She is part of Mayhem 2.0! The Sykobitty herself! Eavan… Maloney!
Cosmo now turns his attention to Maloney.
Captain Cosmo: Welcome, friend Eavan! Let’s get started, shall we?! Have you seen the Cosmic Pug?!
Eavan looks around suspiciously before looking at Cosmo.
Eavan Maloney: I have to let you in on a little secret. He might have been a pet of mine some time ago.
The Captain’s eyes go wide.
Captain Cosmo: Great Scott! We shall discuss this matter further off camera! Next question! Are you a sympathizer of or are you in cahoots with the dastardly Emu Federation?!
Eavan’s face goes from happy-go-lucky to one of anger.
Eavan Maloney: I’m not a fan of emus and I’ll tell you why. Now some people will say I was being my Olive self, but when I went to visit my sister-in-law’s zoo one time, one of those spitting little f… right, no swearing around you… that evil emu stole my bag of M&Ms. He didn’t like the red ones so I called him Ricky.
Cosmo looks around and then back to the camera with a confused expression on his face and he shrugs.
Captain Cosmo: Captain Cosmo has no idea what just happened!
He then turns back to Maloney.
Captain Cosmo: Anyway! Next question! And this one is a question Captain Cosmo is sure many fans of the Wrestling of the New Frontier surely want to know! What is a Sykobitty?!
Eavan Maloney: Well, seeing as I’m standing on a box so you can interview me, a Sykobitty is a name I came up with that defines me completely. I’m small, obviously, so Bitty. AND I tend to do crazy stuff in the ring, so Syko. Mind you, I also catch hell from people when I’m out in public but we won’t talk about that.
Once again, The Captain turns to the camera.
Captain Cosmo: Captain Cosmo would not dream of talking about such things!
Now back to Maloney as Cosmo clears his throat.
Captain Cosmo: Captain Cosmo appears to be… how you humans say… flustered?! So let us get to the final question, friend Eavan! What is your message for everyone else participating in the Vlad The Blackheart Tournament of Memorial?!
Eavan chuckles, and puts her hand on Cosmo’s shoulder.
Eavan Maloney: I have that effect on a lot of people, you should see my social media. As for everyone in the tournament? This is my redemption year. Everybody’s going to come out of the woodwork and try to bring up what happened last year. They’re going to try to get in my head and under my skin, but the Eavan Maloney of 2023 isn’t the same Eavan Maloney of 2024. See, I’m all about the EAVolution. This is MY year, so I leave you with just… one… question. Are you ready?
The Captain raises an eyebrow and points to himself, essentially asking if Maloney was asking him if he was ready. He then turns his attention back to the camera.
Captain Cosmo: Well, now that Captain Cosmo is completely and utterly confused! Cue the epic transition!
Captain Cosmo: Ah yes! Hello humans and fans of the Wrestling of the New Frontier! Captain Cosmo here! The Greatest Vlad The Blackheart Tournament Of Memorial Interviewer Of All Time! TGVTBTOMIOAT for short! And please welcome Captain Cosmo’s guest! He is the Murder Bear that is always Angry… Killian… Oliver!
Cosmo now turns to Oliver.
Captain Cosmo: Welcome, friend Killian! Captain Cosmo’s first question for you is… have you seen the Cosmic Pug?!
The Washington native glares at the Captain with a confused expression on his face before he simply just shakes his head in annoyance and just walks away off camera. Cosmo is not sure what to do about this as he looks around frantically before--
We once again open up to the Colosseum to find Captain Cosmo standing by with a microphone in hand and a big grin on his face as standing beside him is Super Tiger II.
Captain Cosmo: Ah yes! Hello humans and fans of the Wrestling of the New Frontier! Captain Cosmo here! The Greatest Vlad The Blackheart Tournament Of Memorial Interviewer Of All Time! TGVTBTOMIOAT for short! And please welcome Captain Cosmo’s guest! She is the second Super Tiger! Member of the Rising of Sedition! Super… Tiger… II!
Cosmo now turns his attention to Super Tiger II.
Captain Cosmo: Welcome, friend Super Tiger II! Captain Cosmo’s first question for you is have you seen the Cosmic Pug?!
The luchadora looks the man over, scratching her chin as she crosses her arms over her chest.
Super Tiger II: The Cosmic what now? N-no. I haven’t seen a space dog anywhere. Look I agreed to this interview because Risa said you were a pretty stand up guy. She didn’t mention you were… kind of different?
She shrugs, still visibly confused.
Super Tiger II: So how can I help you Captain?
Captain Cosmo: Are you a sympathizer of or are you in cahoots with the dastardly Emu Federation?!
Super Tiger II: Wait… emus? Those big angry birds that squawk and try to kick you? There’s a federation for them? Uh… no. Nope not aware of them either.
ST2 looks even more confused, shifting a bit in place as she looks over Captain Cosmo again.
Super Tiger II: Is this what you wanted to talk to me about? Cuz I’ve got a lot of training to do to get prepared for the upcoming tournament and all…
Captain Cosmo: Captain Cosmo completely understands, friend Super Tiger II! He just has a few more questions and then you may go! And speaking of questions! What superpowers do you possess?!
The hispanic woman ponders the question for a moment, stroking her chin.
Super Tiger II: Superpowers? Well… I’m really good at wrestling. Trained by some of the best to ever do it. But superpowers? I don’t think I actually have any REAL superpowers.
The Captain shrugs.
Captain Cosmo: Very well! Where is your orange fur with black stripes?! Do you have a tail?! Claws?! Sharp teeth?! Can you roar?!
Super Tiger II: You… you do know that I’m not anymore an actual tiger than Risa, right? Plus I mean there is such a thing as Siberian or white tigers, which are white and black.
Cosmo turns back to the camera.
Captain Cosmo: Jeff?! Why did you not tell Captain Cosmo there were more types of tigers on this planet?!
The Captain shakes his head in annoyance before turning back to STII.
Captain Cosmo: Captain Cosmo apologizes for being blasphemous towards your species, friend Super Tiger II! Last question though! What would you like to say to all of the other participants involved in the Vlad The Blackheart Tournament Of Memorial?!
Super Tiger II looks as if she’s going to answer regarding the tiger slander, but stops short, smirking a bit.
Super Tiger II: What do I want to say to them? It’s pretty easy, actually. See, this tournament is being held in honor of a man who was really important to one of my mentors.
The luchadora looks into the camera, all jests finished now.
Super Tiger II: I didn’t know Vlad. I won’t say that I did. I won’t say I’m doing this for him. I’m doing this for only one person. Me. Everyone in this tournament? They’re fighting for second place, Captain. I was trained by the best to ever step into a wrestling ring. Two of them are former winners of this tournament. I’m going to make number three. I’d wish everyone luck, but honestly it’s pointless.
Cosmo turns his attention to the camera.
Captain Cosmo: Well there you have it, fans of the Wrestling of the New Frontier! The second Super Tiger has declared that she plans to follow in the footsteps of her mentors! Will this feline power her way through to the finals?! Or will she be neutered early on?! Tune in and find out when we kick off the Vlad The Blackheart Tournament Of Memorial! Live from this very building starting on August 28th! Cue the epic transition!
Captain Cosmo: Ah yes! Hello humans and fans of the Wrestling of the New Frontier! Captain Cosmo here! The Greatest Vlad The Blackheart Tournament Of Memorial Interviewer Of All Time! TGVTBTOMIOAT for short! And please welcome Captain Cosmo’s guest! ONNA!
Cosmo turns his attention to ONNA.
Captain Cosmo: Welcome, friend ONNA! Captain Cosmo’s first question for you is have you seen the Cosmic Pug?!
ONNA: I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THAT IS, MISTER CAPTAIN.
The Captain briefly turns his attention to the camera and raises an eyebrow before then turning back to ONNA.
Captain Cosmo: Very well! Next question! Are you a sympathizer of or are you in cahoots with the dastardly Emu Federation?!
ONNA: I DID NOT KNOW THAT EMUS HAD A FEDERATION! DO YOU THINK CAMELS HAVE A FEDERATION TOO? I WOULD LIKE TO JOIN!
Cosmo once again turns to the camera and then shrugs his shoulders before turning back to ONNA.
Captain Cosmo: Captain Cosmo has not heard of a Camel Federation, friend ONNA! Nevertheless… final question! What do you have to say to all of the other participants involved in the Vlad The Blackheart Tournament Of Memorial?!
ONNA: I DO NOT KNOW WHO I WILL BE WRESTLING IN THIS TOURNAMENT FOR THE BLACKHEART BUT I LOOK FORWARD TO DOING WELL IN THIS TOURNAMENT!
The Captain turns back to the camera for the final time.
Captain Cosmo: Well there you have it, fans! ONNA is ready for the challenge of the Vlad The Blackheart Tournament Of Memorial! Cue the epic, totally expensive and cool transition!
Captain Cosmo: Ah yes! Hello humans and fans of the Wrestling of the New Frontier! Captain Cosmo here! The Greatest Vlad The Blackheart Tournament Of Memorial Interviewer Of All Time! TGVTBTOMIOAT for short! And please welcome Captain Cosmo’s guest! She is The Rose of Cherokee! Lluvia… Salvatore!
Cosmo now turns to Salvatore. Lluvia had a big smile on her face as she looked at the good captain.
Captain Cosmo: Welcome, friend Lluvia! Let’s get right down to it, shall we?! Captain Cosmo’s first question is… have you seen the Cosmic Pug?!
Lluvia Salvatore: Unfortunately, Captain, I have not seen the Cosmic Pug. But I will let you know if I do!
Lluvia kept the smile on her face as she brushed some hair back. She had figured that she would be asked about the Cosmic Pug, the endless search was one of the reasons that Cosmo was so loved, after all.
Captain Cosmo: Next question! Are you a sympathizer of or are you in cahoots with the dastardly Emu Federation?!
Lluvia Salvatore: Oh not at all! I would never sympathize or align with anyone as dastardly as the Emu Federation!
Lluvia smacked her fist into her other hand to go along with her attitude towards the Emu Federation. Cosmo is taken aback slightly by this sudden burst of aggression from Salvatore, yet he composes himself and carries on with the interview.
Captain Cosmo: Do you photosynthesize?!
Lluvia Salvatore: I do not, Captain… I’m not a plant, after all.
Lluvia let out a small laugh before quieting down to listen to Cosmo’s next question. The Captain is rather perplexed at her response to his last question.
Captain Cosmo: But you say you’re a rose and a rose is a plant!
Salvatore gives him an apologetic shrug as she tries her best not to burst into laughter as she watches the intergalactic traveler look around to his left and then to his right before finally focusing his attention back onto his guest.
Captain Cosmo: Be that as it may! What would you like to say to every other participant involved in the Vlad The Blackheart Tournament of Memorial?!
Lluvia Salvatore: Well… I suppose I’d just like to tell everyone else good luck. They’re going to need it, after all. I’ve done the tournament every year, minus one, since I signed with NFW. This year is my turn to finally shine in it as well as after it.
Lluvia gave Cosmo a little nod as a thank you for the interview before walking off after answering his last question. The Captain then turns back to the camera and grins widely into it.
Captain Cosmo: Well there you have it, fans of the Wrestling of the New Frontier! That was Captain Cosmo’s final interview with some of the participants in the Vlad The Blackheart Tournament of Memorial! Make sure to tune into this monumental event that starts August 28th! Also… DON’T TRUST EMUS!
Cosmo then points at the camera as the scene fades.
