NFW Collision #141! 07/26/2022!

We cut to what appears to be the roof of the Vlad Blackheart Memorial Colosseum as we see Lorna sitting on a wooden crate of some description in front of an oil drum. Her expression is motionless as she clutches the case she won last week close to her chest as Sylvia Lopez appears on screen beside her as she begins to jump up and down on the balls of her feet, clapping her hands with glee whilst looking at the case.

Sylvia Lopez: Sylvia is excited to see what is in your case! What do you think is in the case, Lorna?!

Lorna smiles and pulls the case away from her body and holds it in both hands looking at it lovingly.

Lorna:Kitty paws, no! Bloody dolls, no!

Lorna shakes the case tilting her head slightly to listen for any noise, but doesn't hear anything. She suddenly smiles.

Lorna:Maybe we open it now and see? Perhaps it's something for you and for me! Still, the way it was obtained was so clever! I'm happy holding onto this case forever!

Lorna giggles, snorts, then giggles again smiling at her new friend.

Sylvia Lopez: You will not be able to hold onto it forever, Lorna!

Lorna frowns, her bottom lip begins to quiver as if she’s about to start crying.

Sylvia Lopez: Do not be sad! Tonight you will find out what is inside! It could be a shot at a shiny!

Looking a bit confused at this point, Lorna decides to get clarification.

Lorna:If it's a rule of giving it up by which I must abide, I hope to at least keep what is inside. A shiny, like something with a gleam? Whatever is it that you mean?

Sylvia Lopez: Sylvia is talking about one of those shiny belts, Lorna! You could end up getting a shot at one of those!

Lorna laughs in a manner somewhere between playful and sinister.

Lorna:My willingness to give this up has just increased in haste. A shiny belt would definitely look good around my waist. After last week, our teamwork has been made readily known. I'm hoping more for two belts so I'm not wearing one alone.

The Bellevue Banshee clearly likes the sound of that as she giggles and claps her hands together, bouncing up and down on the spot again.

Sylvia Lopez: Sylvia likes that idea! Sylvia wants a shiny! Sylvia wants a shiny!!! SYLVIA WANTS A SHINY!!!

Lopez then suddenly stops, her smile quickly fades as she slowly turns to face the camera.

Sylvia Lopez: But first! Sylvia must play with Vebbins!

Reaching into her jacket pocket, she removes a Barbie doll from it that shares a striking resemblance to Azurine Vebbins.

Sylvia Lopez: While Vebbins likes to dance! Sylvia likes to play! While Vebbins would like to tango! Sylvia pops her head like a mango!

Lopez then bites into the head of the doll, forcing it to pop off its body and The Bellevue Banshee spits the head into the oil drum.

Lorna gets an evil look on her face seeing the visual.

Lorna:Sylvia likes to play! Sylvia gets to play! Tonight in the ring, Pain she'll bring! Azzy's head is more of a melon, but not like the ones on her chest. The punishment type you're sellin', chances for her are not best! No matter how many times I've stomped the dirty rabbit, she's come back out of her hole. Returning to us, like a filthy habit, getting in the way of our goal. Sylvia will come out ready tonight. She'll play and get the win! So, go ahead and bring your light, we'll stomp it out again and again!

Lorna laughs and, in the heat of the moment, punches Sylvia in the shoulder. The Bellevue Banshee looks down at her arm that Lorna punched before slowly lifting her head to glare at the Kill-wai Princess. After a few moments of silence, Lopez then laughs maniacally before looking back into the camera.

Sylvia Lopez: Popping your head is just a small preview of what Sylvia will do to you tonight, Vebbins! She’ll claw at your skin and draw blood!

Sylvia then begins to claw at the body of the doll before tossing it into the oil drum. She then proceeds to walk around to the other side of the crate that Lorna is sitting on and picks up a small bottle of lighter fluid that was resting on the crate beside the Kill-wai Princess.

Sylvia Lopez: Sylvia will listen to your screams of pain and suffering! It will be music to her ears!

Lopez then squeezes a load of lighter fluid into the drum and then reaches into her other pocket and pulls out a box of matches. Taking one out, she strikes it as the red head of the match becomes engulfed in flame as she tosses it into the drum.

Sylvia Lopez: And Sylvia shall watch you burn!

Lorna looks down at the burning doll and laughs, and Sylvia joins her in the laughter as the camera zooms in on the burning doll as we cut elsewhere.
The show returns from an advertisement and there’s General Manager, Jessica Clarkson-Morian, standing in the ring at a table with three briefcases on its surface. In front of each case stands the competitor who successfully retrieved them the previous week. Jessica is joined by Dane Preston, Saoirse Maguire and Lorna. Preston and Lorna are still staring each other down hard while Lorna has Sylvia Lopez standing beside her newfound tag partner. A not so distant foe of Preston’s, Lopez waves at The Fixer who starts to step forward but that’s why we have security inside the ring to keep the two sides from colliding with each other. Meanwhile, Saoirse Maguire just stands by with an amused smirk on her face as if she wouldn’t mind seeing a fight break out. Jessica Morian taps on the microphone with her hand to test if it’s working while also getting their attention.

Jessica Clarkson-Morian: Hello! Hey! Hi, good evening, y’all! Y’all doing alright, this evening? Now we ain’t here to fight. At least, not right now. We’re here for prize reveals! Now last week, y’all three competed in our Frontier Roulette match for a chance at, well, these.

She gestures to the cases with her hand.

Jessica Clarkson-Morian: Y’all fought your butts off and I know the fans appreciated that. Sylvia? I’m a little disappointed, hon. You didn’t have no business getting involved last week but, as it stands, your tag team partner won one of the cases.

Sylvia just grins from ear to ear, unhinged at best and waves at Jessica as she nods, regarding her assistance to Lorna last week. Jessica takes a notable step along the table to casually put more distance between herself and the Lunatic Parade.

Jessica Clarkson-Morian: So then! Let’s see what y’all won!

There’s a pause as she clearly forgets something but then remembers and reaches into her jacket pocket, retrieving three keys. Jessica sets one on top of each case, before motioning to Lorna.

Jessica Clarkson-Morian: Lorna. You go first.

Lorna, grinning from ear to ear right at the General Manager, causes the little blonde to shift uneasily before she takes the key from the top of the case and unlocks it. She lifts the lid revealing…cold hard cash! The inside of the lid reads “$500,000”!!

Jessica Clarkson-Morian: Lorna wins the cash prize, y’all! Let’s hear it for her!

Jim Reynolds: Now, just what the hell is a nutjob like her gonna do with half a million dollars in cash?

Nick Hanson: Good question! Why don’t you ask her?

Jim Reynolds: Why don’t you go to hell?

Jessica Clarkson-Morian: Alright! Next up. Saoirse Maguire! Go on and open your case, Miss!

Saoirse picks up her key and goes to open her case. She struggles with the lock, apparently, to the point that Jessica Morian and even Dane Preston step in to look at what she’s doing and try to help her. The key won’t fit inside the lock. Dane finally looks at Jessica with a look of endearing amusement. Like an elder looks at a youth with, as he realizes something and hands Saoirse the key from on top of his case. Saoirse takes it, looks at it, and it slides right into the lock on her case! Jessica grins nervously, realizing she made an oopsie and mixed the keys up as Saoirse opens her case. Whatever Saoirse sees inside, she immediately grins and laughs victoriously. She reaches in and pulls out a contract folder. Across the front, it reads:


Nick Hanson: How about that!!! Saoirse Maguire, the Psycho, will face the Gamer Punk, Jonna Austin for Austin’s Silver Mountain Championship at Cruel Summer!!

Jessica Clarkson-Morian: Let’s hear it for her y’all!

Jessica leads the crowd in a round of applause. Well, she applauds, the crowd cheers and pops. They know this one’s gonna be a bloodbath when it goes down! Last but not least, all attention turns to Dane Preston as he picks up his key. He looks between it and Jessica Morian, teasing her a bit. Is it gonna open his case? When he finally goes to do so, it does indeed unlock the lid. Dane opens the case and grins, pulling out another folder. This one, as he holds it up, reads:


Jim Reynolds: Ohhhhh MAAAAAAAAN, NICKY!!!!

Nick Hanson: Dane Preston and Cass Baumer have been looking for another crack at each other!! Looks like they’re gonna get it!!

Jessica Clarkson-Morian: Let’s hear it for one, that’s right, one of the challengers for the Genesis Championship on August 30th! Per rules of the belt, y’all know there’s a minimum of three in the match. Who will it be?!

Jessica looks around, sheepishly.

Jessica Clarkson-Morian: Honestly, I ain’t figured that out yet, but I will! I promise! Let’s hear it for these three again!

The crowd pops for Dane, Saoirse and Lorna before we cut backstage.
The view fades to a dark room with the Zion Chance Briefcase holder Haruka Fukuhara sitting in her steel chair, dressed in her entrance gear and surrounded by fog.

Haruka Fukuhara: I've learned and realized a lot since shedding the labels I once carried. The most paramount of which being that there is no short way to success. You cannot take a shortcut without expecting consequences for it. A building stays standing only if you build it to exact specifications. You can't wing any measurements, you can't use inferior tactics or materials... or else the house collapses in front of you. And they say it always wins... tch.

Fukuhara shakes her head a bit before continuing.

Haruka Fukuhara: You, Darcy, want to be the Irish Haruka. Between the stoicness, and the cold demeanor... and only wanting success regardless of who you step on for it. It seems like you just think being me this time last year and parading around as though you did something was cool.

Haruka flexes her arm a bit to the camera.

Haruka Fukuhara: I've put on some muscle since then, can't you tell? I did all that in an effort to ensure that my husband and I ran Collision... even in his absence. But once Cruel Summer happened, everything went wrong. Tren still wasn't World Heavyweight Champion, and Katie Anderson took the Genesis Title from me without actually pinning me... which kickstarted this rut I was in. That ultimately, I'm still stuck in with NFW.

The Ice Empress sharply inhales through her nose, flaring her nostrils as she does so.

Haruka Fukuhara: I'm really not something you should aspire to be. But yet, here you are. Wanting that life.

Fukuhara lifts her index finger up.

Haruka Fukuhara: There's a massive problem with that, though. Every single thing you do in aspiring to be me lacks authenticity. It lacks the pain and the sorrow that I carry from having failed time and again as exactly that. You want to be me without having earned the stripes for it, and it makes me sick.

Haruka stands up, taking a slightly defensive pose in the process.

Haruka Fukuhara: But it's all good. Because rest assured, Graves: there is only one of me. Meanwhile, once you're so twisted up and mangled that car wrecks blush? Remember that I'm the freeway you drove off of. Remember that you wanted rule over an empire that wasn't yours to rule in the shortest way and smallest amount of time possible... when you weren't even fit to properly clean the courtyard. Once we're done? Go ahead and tear my pictures off your wall.

With the sounds of "Thank You" by Dido accompanying her, Fukuhara grabs her briefcase and exits stage left.

My tea's gone cold, I'm wond'rin' why I... got out of bed at all...

At the Soul Garden catering table, the viewers are treated to the sight of the Debaillion Ladies talking to one another. Danielle is suited up in her ring attire and enjoying a couple of sips of peach mango BodyArmor. Leina is, of course, rockin’ the stylish punk look with her red and white MAD mask over her face. Even in the summer, she’s wearing her late father’s red hoodie -- it’s simply tied around her waist. Danni offers her daughter a small plate with a Guinness chocolate cupcake.

Danni Anderson: Here, sweetie! I think you’ll really like this one.

The culinary vision lights up the Cutest Little Badass’ eyes.

Leina Rael: That looks amazing!

Happily, she accepts the plate and picks up the cupcake from it. She indulges in a bite and savors it, a little bit of Bailey’s Irish Cream frosting on the tip of her nose. Danni giggles at the sight before she takes another sip of her sports beverage. Her giggle, and smile altogether, fade at the sight of the shadow that seems to suddenly appear behind Leina.

Stepping from the shadow of the catering area is Daedalus. He sports a neatly pressed yet somehow still melancholy suit. He smirks as behind him, Pisces, in her porcelain doll mask and very much faded nightgown, steps forward almost bashfully. Without hesitation, Danni moves to stand protectively in front of her daughter. Leina pulls herself from her sweet indulgence and stands behind her mother with a great sense of unease.

Leina Rael: ...fuck.

This time, Danni doesn’t remind Leina of her language control. She watches as Daedalus fixates his stare on her.

Daedalus: Evening… ladies. I hope you don’t mind our intrusion. It’s just that… well, my dear Pisces wanted to get a closer look at you.

Danni Anderson: Well, you’re super-duper close. Have you ever heard of personal space?

The Semper Fairy’s sparkly blue eyes narrow on the Architect. Behind her, Leina peeks around her mother and she shivers a little. Daedalus’s smirk disappears and is replaced by an expression of annoyance. Pisces tilts her head, peering at Danni.

Daedalus: That’s very rude.

He glares at Danni, his jaw clenching as he clicks his teeth together.

Daedalus: It’s also rude not to offer us something to eat. Pisces is hungry… and the dear girl has quite the appetite. Don’t you?

He turns his gaze to the girl in the porcelain mask. Her response is silence, but Daedalus nods as if she’s just agreed with him and turns his attention back to the girls in front of him. Danni’s eyes always focus on Daedalus. She doesn’t trust him one bit. Leina blinks and feels eyes on her… but when she notices Daedalus’ eyes are on Danni, she soon realizes it’s Pisces staring at her now.

Leina Rael: Um… Mom, let’s go find Dad. What if the other Creep is nearby?

For a moment, Danni’s eyes narrow and she presses her lips together in a thin line. It appears she’s ready to throw down right now. Hearing her daughter’s plea, however, brings her to her senses. She shakes her head with a huff.

Danni Anderson: My match is next. Let’s just go to the ring. I’m sure Damon will follow us later.

Assertively yet cautiously, the Debaillion Ladies begin to make their way in the direction of ringside, Leina staying very close to her protective mother. Behind them, the Creeps don’t move. The usual cheery hatefulness from Daedalus has vanished. Now, he only stares hatefully in the direction of the Dabaillion Ladies.

Daedalus: I expect you to pick her apart. I hope that is understood. Do unto her what nature has done unto you.

The camera fades with Daedalus and Pisces looking straight ahead.
We cut backstage to show the NFW Tag Team Champions, Unnatural Forces. They are fully dressed and prepped for their upcoming match. Milisandre has her entrance coat on with the hood up and her NFW Tag Team Title draped over her shoulder. Abigail stood next to her with her title also slung over a shoulder.

Milisandre Crowthorne: Four weeks ago the unbelievable happened. He granted me the ability to gain once again something to help spread His message.

Abigail nods in agreement.

Abigail Lindsey: For all my melodramatics about going it alone and dying on my metaphorical sword, I’m glad things worked out this way, for no other reason then this path has allowed lil ole me to shed a weakness. As much fun as being salacious was, I became bored. Slightly content. The death of my previous partnership gave birth to what I feel has the potential to be a lot more fun.

Milisandre Crowthorne: Even though a member left us we are still The force in the Tag Division. We are going to go out there tonight and make sure that Thicc Attack knows. And to use them as an example for anyone else who might think they want to step up.

Milisandre paused for a moment. She adjusted the tag title on her shoulder.

Abigail Lindsey: Yeah, Thicc Attack. How... mundane.

Abigail yawns, emphasizing how bored she is.

Abigail Lindsey: The first time we met ladies I was intrigued. The second time we met, I lost complete interest. But for some reason, I have to entertain stepping foot inside the ring with you two for a third time. I don’t see the point. But I am going to look on the bright side. You two have no clue what Milisandre and I are capable of. Trust me, there will be nothing salacious about this.

Abigail winks.

Milisandre Crowthorne: Janie and Catalina if you think you will stand a chance, that you could actually come out on top. Just remember what went down at Reckoning Day. Remember how, when I was exhausted and spent, We defended these titles. I’m fresh tonight, one hundred percent. And He is behind us.

Abigail Lindsey: I used to say the world belongs to us. Only fair that I amend that. The world belongs to Cthulhu, and there’s nothing you two or anyone on this planet can do about it.

Milisandre took a step towards the camera. All that had been visible on her was her nose and mouth. It was an even eerier sight ‘up close.’

Milisandre Crowthorne: Prepare to receive His message. Prepare to understand reality.

Milisandre grinned and then headed towards the ring with Abigail.
Jansen Myrrh: Turn off that fucking music!

As the music is suddenly cut short, Jansen Myrrh marches onto the stage. She has the World Heavyweight Championship around her waist as she points towards the ring.

Jansen Myrrh: You two motherfuckers need to be gone by the time I get to that announce table or I’m gonna move you myself.

Jim Reynolds: Don’t have to tell me twice.

Nick Hanson: I’m gone.

As the commentators clear the ringside area, careful to avoid the rampaging World’s Champion, Jansen gets to the ring and tosses her microphone inside and then walks around the ring towards the announce position.

In a fit of anger, she grabs the side of the table and flips it over, sending everything on top of it to the floor as the table crashes upside down onto the floor. She picks up one of the comfortable chairs and wheels it towards the ring and picks it up, tossing it inside.

She then aims her attention to the cameraman on the floor, motioning for him to set the “fucking” camera down, pointing to the ring apron.

Valuing his life, the cameraman lifts the camera off his shoulder and sets it onto the floor and then heads quickly to the back.

The crowd isn’t quite sure what to make of all of this, assuming the show was over after the last match. Jansen climbs into the ring and walks over, picks up the chair and sets it upright in the middle of the ring.

She removes the title from around her waist and lays it out on the mat before walking over and picking up the camera from the ring apron and brings it into the ring. She reaches down and picks up her microphone and sits down in the chair, bringing the camera up to hold it in front of her face.

When production changes to that camera, everyone watching the stream sees the face of Jansen Myrrh.

Jansen Myrrh: I don’t need any assholes talking over me and I certainly don’t need anyone distracting me at ringside trying to get my good side, but right now, I ain’t got no fucking good side. I’m gonna do this shit all by my goddamn self. Leah Fucking Aguero! You good for nothing backstabbing cunty bitch!

There may be some bleeping there as the crowd pops loud at Jansen’s words.

Jansen Myrrh: I’m not going to sit here and lie. When I saw you beat that clown Skrabz, I was a bit fucking jealous. But, tell me this, you slimey little toad, who was the first call you got after you won congratulating you? Don’t think I didn’t see those fucking tweets you made rubbing in the fact that you did what I couldn’t do. I ignored them because you were my fucking sister, my best fucking friend. You were feeling yourself, so let it all just slide by. You deserved to be happy. I was proud and jealous at the same fucking time.

Jansen Myrrh: Then the goddamned place shut down again. If you want to know the real reason I didn’t come back to that place was because it can’t seem to fucking keep it’s doors open. I was firmly entrenched in NFW and fighting motherfuckers weekly and I didn’t have time to go back to that goddamned place. So, when you put a cork in that marble-mouthed bastard Skrabz, I was happy for you. First Gabriel beat his ass and then you. Coven was riding high at that place. You certainly didn’t need me. If you think for one goddammed moment that I ever used you, then you didn’t fucking know me at all.

Jansen Myrrh: You see, four years ago, when I came up with the idea of Coven, you might not have been my first contact about joining the club because the Ihari’s had just arrived and I had history with them from my time in Japan. You were out there playing “good guy” and working your ass off for cheers and getting your ass handed to you every other week. But, I saw your frustration. I saw that you were starting to feel the pressure. I saw a glimpse of what you could be and you fucking know what? I was fucking right. War Queen Leah, Ultimate Champion. I approached you about Coven and that was the day, that fucking day, that you and I became more than co-workers. It was the start of our friendship. You want to sit out here and tell everyone that I made it all about me? Coven was about us all. Everyone who was in our group was elevated, not because of me, for fuck’s sake. Because of the collective.

Jansen Myrrh: You took Emily Falls under your wing, after Double Team Ihari failed to win the tag titles. While you and Emily were looking at taking out the Shieldmaidens, I was climbing the ladder towards the Ultimate Championship. I beat Bullet. I beat Hamilton. I beat Vebbins. When I told the group I wanted Skrabz, you were the first person to tell me that I deserved it and that you had my back. Now, you want to come out here and fucking put your spin on this? I may have been jealous then, but I think we all know who’s jealous now. The only difference between then and now is that I didn’t jump your ass from behind.

Jansen Myrrh: The thing that really hurts the most out of all of this? If you wanted a title shot, you just had to fucking ask me. You and I? We’ve been talking for fucking years about what would happen if we got into the ring against each other. It’s not like it would have been out of the blue. You and I could have had a hell of a match, but you had to go and take the cheap way to get it. Fine. You get your title match. Cruel Summer. Ain’t gonna be no running or hiding. Ain’t gonna be multiple chapters in this fucking fued. We’re going to meet at Cruel Summer and then go our own fucking separate ways. See, I made a phone call earlier today and our match at Cruel Summer? Ain’t gonna be just any match. Bitch, You want this title? I want to fuck you up. Just to make sure you don’t get to run too far away from me when I start stomping your face to the floor, we’re gonna be connected like a couple of wild animals. A couple of rabid dogs. Coven vs. Coven. Sister vs. sister. Motherfucking Dog Collar Match.

The crowd pops hard.

Jansen Myrrh: Let me tell you one more thing, you backstabbing motherfucker. I reached out to an old friend of ours. Someone who can make sure that things stay on the up and up. You and I? We’re gonna have a special enforcer. You wanna know who it is? You’ll fucking find out soon enough.

As “King Freak” plays across the arena, Jansen gets up and picks up the chair, tossing it out of the ring as she raises the championship high in the air as the show goes off the air.