NFW Trauma #59! 02/05/2022!

Captain Cosmo vs. Casey Holiday

The match opened with Captain Cosmo offering a handshake to friend Casey Vacation! Holiday accepts the shake, clapping Cosmo on the shoulder before moving apart when the Official calls for the bell. Captain Cosmo comes out of the corner looking for a clothesline which Holliday ducks expertly, throwing a couple of kicks to Cosmo’s leg, before Russian leg sweeping him down to the ground. Cosmo flails his way through this bit of the entire interaction, ending up on his back, able to pretty quickly basically swat Casey away as she goes for some good old ground and pound. Holliday gets swatted, but she’s no less determined and immediately rolls to her feet. Casey backs up, and comes at Cosmo with a flying cross body, only to get caught in mid-air! Cosmo laughed, holding onto Casey and swanning about as if he was in a musical! Just before he slams Casey back down to the earth with a sidewalk slam! Cosmo makes a pin attempt that Casey kicks out of at one!

The match goes back and forth from there, with Cosmo luck flailing his way into big power moves that only keep Casey down for so long. Casey hitting a lot of technical moves, running circles around Cosmo in mat wrestling prowess. The crowd is divided on how to feel, loving both Cosmo’s propensity for wacky hijinks and his long and arduous battle with the Emu federation! But also really getting behind Casey’s determination and skill in winning this match. They cheer loudly as Cosmo stops midmatch, having blocked Casey from getting him in a head-scissors to toss him across the ring, instead he manages to tangle them both into the ropes. He laughs, and bounces on the ropes, which jerks and smashes Casey into the ring canvas. Once he realizes he may have harmed Casey, Cosmo stops, sticks one of his big feet firmly on the ground and pries the ropes apart. Casey comes tumbling out, helped up by Cosmo, but her frustration is palpable. Cosmo attempts to cheer his friend up, by ‘getting back to the wrestling match!’ The Captain charges forward yelling ‘SNEAK ATTACK!’ as he goes for the Cosmo Kick! Holliday ducks under him again, smooth as ice and grips him around the head and shoulders before bringing him to the ground in an almost slow motion Stock Plunge! Casey floats over to hook Cosmo’s leg and pin him!

Ayu Megumi was sitting next to Dakota Winters. They were both talking with smiles. Ayu had no wrestling match today so she was in a black hoodie and glasses. She nodded to Dakota Winters as a sign of something for her. before they both looked at the camera

Dakota Winters: After your first week, how are you feeling now, Ayu, and how do you feel about the upcoming war between NFW and Zion? Can you tell us what's on your mind?

Ayu Megumi just nods after Dakota Winters finishes her question and takes a deep breath before she will start answering her question.

Ayu Megumi: Of course, I'm still excited after finishing my first week with NFW. It's been a great start. You know, I need more, I want to make my name memorable here quickly. I'm still excited to be here and believe it or not, I can't sleep at all! I can hardly describe it in words, it's so exciting. I can hardly wait for what will happen to me in the future. I enjoy being here, I will meet new friends, new society and I am adjusting to fit here. I will continue to work hard to become a star here. And I think I can do it within this year. This is just the beginning of me, my path is still long. I will grow up every week. And I'll keep all the cheers And the support you have given me has driven me to be stronger every week. I will not stop improving until I become a champion. I want to be successful here and of course this is the promise. I will do everything for the fans and to be successful. I have no regrets for choosing to stay here. Because this place will make me a star in the future. This is my proof once again. It's always exciting to live in a new place. but it's my life I have chosen and NFW gave me this opportunity, so I'll let them know they did the right thing to sign me. I will not disappoint them. This is a promise from a little girl. But in the future when I succeed I promise I will be the face of NFW without a doubt. I came my way And I'm here to succeed. And I promise you all of you will definitely not be disappointed. As for Zion, the two of my sisters there, Nami and Maki, I'm a bit sad that now we stand on opposite sides because we actually love each other so much. There are only three of us left. But since today's fate makes us have to be on different sides I will fight if I have a chance in this war like you said Nami. You protect Zion. I will protect NFW even if I'm a small point in this war. But I'll do whatever it takes to protect NFW. I'm proud to see you succeed, sister. But since it's a war if I'm going to have to hurt you, I hope you understand that it really needs to be done. It always hurts to know that my two sisters are on opposite sides of me. But that's not a problem. I'm an adult and I think I don't have to be in anyone's shadow anymore, especially my two sisters. I'm strong enough to stand on my own legs. If I have a chance in this war, believe me, I will not disappoint everyone here. I will do my best to win for NFW. I would like to join the war if I have the chance. I want to do everything Although it may sound too fast or not. But believe me I can win this war. I really want to fight this war. If there is a chance But if not, I will encourage everyone here. I know how important victory in this war is to NFW and I believe that we are better than Zion. We can definitely win, no matter what Zion has prepared for this war. That wouldn't be good enough to defeat NFW. The ending of the war only had one ending. It will end in Zion's defeat and failure, I believe. 'Cause I know how strong everyone here is. I don't know why Zion dared to join a war they could never win…

Dakota Winters: Nice to know what's on your mind. Ayu, thanks again for the interview! Another really interesting person! And again, this is "The Amazing Girl" Ayu Meguuuuuumi!

Ayu Megumi just nods and smiles and shake hands with Dakota Winters and has a little bit of a conversation. Ayu Megumi and Dakota Winters just smile at each other. Scene fade to black
The arena lights fade as the driving guitar intro to “Funeral for Yesterday” by Kittie starts up. Red spotlights start passing over the crowd when the guitars and drums kick in. They wander all around the arena as the song continues to play and build.

When the first vocal note hits a white spotlight lights up the entrance as “Favored of the Goddess” Lana Corvin struts out from the back. She stands there looking out arrogantly over the crowd. They show their hate to her, whether it's for her or just her family you can’t be sure.

She starts to strut her way towards the ring as the lights raise and the song continues. She talks some smack with some of the more vocal and heckling members of the crowd. She returns all of their verbal jabs as only one of the Corvins can.


She climbs the ring steps and then into the ring. She circles around glaring out at the crowd and talking more trash. She then runs to one set up the ropes and stands up on them raising an arm high.


She jumps down and gets a mic from one of the ring crew. She moves to the center of the ring.

Lana Corvin: Since this whole war thing with ZION started I have kept to myself mainly. I asked my dad if he had any experience with one of these things before. He said he did. Of course, he had. Well, I asked him what I should do.

Lana paces back and forth slightly.

Lana Corvin: He told me to keep my head down. Watch how things play out. Then, if asked, strike hard and fast. Do what Corvins do best. So, I followed his advice. I kept my head down. Then Issy called up saying she needed me to do something down in Miami. So, Little Sister and I hopped on the next flight down there. I beat someone up and take their spot in a rumble. Easy right? Well, It should have been. I did what Corvins do. But just like my father, fate doesn’t like Corvins to win rumble matches.

Lana shrugs.

Lana Corvin: That was fine. I did what was asked of me. I caused havoc. I took a page out of my Uncle Eric’s book and wreaked havoc. I ensured that many people didn’t have the opportunity to win. But I need to get some payback for that elimination. I WANT to get my hands on Zach Porter.

Lana pauses for a beat.

Lana Corvin: Not like Rayola did though.

Lana winks into the camera and chuckles.

Lana Corvin: I gave him a little bit of comeuppance right then and there. I would much rather it be him in this match. But I guess I can settle for the head honcho from Zion.

Lana stops moving and looks into the camera.

Lana Corvin: This whole thing started around you. You and Zach were two of the three responsible for this war. So what am I gonna do about it? What Corvins do best. I have a chance to cut the head off of the proverbial snake. I beat you here tonight and your whole ‘army’ will be useless. Nothing more than fodder for us to destroy. Remember that when you are looking up at the lights that it was inevitable. You stepped into the ring with a Corvin. And, well, we’re simply better than you.

Lana dropped the mic and removed her entrance coat. She then motioned for Kai to come on down.

Lana Corvin vs. Kai Morgan

The bell rings, with Morgan and Corvin advancing to the center of the ring! The two look as though they’re about to start things off technically, gearing up to come together for a Collar-and-Elbow Tie Up until…Morgan just nonchalantly walks away! Corvin stares off with a petty grin on her face as Morgan wanders around the ring, taking in the ire of the fans from the false start of the match! He eventually lands in the corner, leaning against the turnbuckle as Corvin turns around to face him! The two exchange a few harsh words as the official tries to get things back on track, telling Corvin to step back and keep away as he instructs Morgan to get out of the corner and start things! Eventually, Morgan heeds the referee’s warning, exiting the corner ready to start the match in earnest! He comes to the center of the ring, ready to go into a Collar-and-Elbow once again! The two prepare to lock up until…Corvin nonchalantly walks away from Morgan! Corvin handing Morgan a receipt for his cocky attitude from earlier! The two share a grin from one another from opposite sides of the ring, though obviously not in jest!

Morgan pivots now, putting his hand up to invite Corvin to engage in a Test of Strength! Corvin accepts, locking her right hand into Morgan’s! The two tentatively go to lock their left hands, seemingly putting all their attention onto it! But Morgan tricks Corvin, catching her with a Kick to the shin that sends her kneeling! Morgan relishes in the damage he’s cost, before getting Corvin to her feet and wrenching the arm, throwing a Bicycle Knee her way! Corvin staggers back into the ropes, allowing Morgan to capitalize with a Knee Strike into the ropes! He throws Corvin to the mat, but before he can even move an inch towards her, Corvin rolls back up to her feet, catching Morgan with Knee Strike in the ropes as well! Corvin capitalizes now, sending Morgan to the opposite side of the ring with an Irish Whip! He returns only to be caught off guard with a Drop Down from Corvin! Morgan hits the ropes again, this time running into a LeapFrog! He returns once more, with Corvin jumping up once again to deliver a Hurricanrana to Morgan! He reverses however, landing on his hands and front-flipping forward off the agile move! Morgan attempts to capitalize, sending a Kick right to the Achilles of Corvin to sweep the leg! But she reverses now, landing on her hands and kipping right up off the strike! She immediately gets Morgan back in hot water, leathering him with a Forearm Smash! The strike connects SUPER stiff, with the sound of it echoing throughout the arena, and Morgan going as far as to hunch himself over and favor his face as the move registers with him!

Corvin attempts to capitalize now, running after Morgan to take advantage of his doubled over state! But Morgan instantly retaliates, catching Corvin off guard with a Forearm Smash of his own! The strike resonates across the arena just as loudly as Corvin’s, with the woman herself feeling it just as much! Morgan takes advantage now, grabbing Corvin by the back of the head and looking to throw her into the ropes! But she reverses, instead jumping up to the second rope and catching him with an Arm Drag! Morgan pops back to his feet, rushing towards Corvin to maintain control of the match, but Corvin side-steps him, sending him into the ropes! She anticipates Morgan’s return from the rebound, but it never comes, with Morgan sliding underneath the bottom rope and re-emerging on the apron! Corvin goes after him, seemingly falling right into his trap as Morgan fights her back with a Shoulder Thrust through the middle rope! Corvin is hunched over now, and Morgan takes advantage, launching himself over the top rope for a Slingshot DDT! But Corvin catches it, using her strength to hoist Morgan up and throw him over the top rope and out of the ring to the floor!

Morgan is a bit disoriented now, stumbling to his feet as Corvin takes to the top rope! The second he gains a vertical base, Corvin launches off, diving to the outside to nail Morgan with a Shooting Star Press! Both competitors are down at ringside now, with Corvin being the first to make it to her feet, dragging Morgan to his feet not far behind! She gets a hand behind Morgan’s head and throws him into the ring post! Morgan is able to evade the impact, sliding underneath the bottom rope and coming out of the ring through the other side, much like he did in his match with a Cherry Addams! Corvin catches onto this and moves in, throwing a Big Boot to Morgan through the corner! The strike hits him hard, almost completely knocking him over! Corvin tries to pull her leg out, but Morgan craftily keeps a hold on it, hooking his arm around Corvin’s ankle! Morgan pulls himself up to his feet, before ramming Corvin’s leg into the ringpost! She recoils, favoring the leg as it’s hung over the ring apron still! Morgan takes advantage now, catching her with a Boot to the side of Corvin’s thigh! Corvin finally escapes the corner of the ring, staggering back as Morgan climbs the apron! He runs towards Corvin looking to attack, but she reverses, looking for a Clothesline to Morgan’s legs! Morgan hops over it, however, before turning around to dive at Corvin from the apron! But Corvin reverses, throwing Morgan down to the concrete floor like a ton of bricks with a Scoop Powerslam!

Morgan is in Pain on the outside of the ring, favoring his back as Corvin pulls him up and throws him inside the ring at the nine count, pinning him for the first time in this match!


Kick out by Morgan! Corvin continues on her warpath however, dragging Morgan over the corner and going for an Arabian Press! Morgan moves out of the way, however, leaving Corvin to land on her feet to avoid crashing! She lands awkwardly on the already damaged leg, immediately falling to a knee upon landing! Morgan uses this to his advantage, getting to his feet and rushing Corvin! This backfires however, with Corvin catching Morgan with a Drop Toe Hold that sends him draped over the second rope! Corvin calls her shot, hitting the ropes before running back to Morgan and catching him with a Tiger Feint Kick! Morgan staggers back into the ring with Corvin springboarding over the top rope to deliver an Elbow Drop that sends him down in earnest! Corvin sets up now, waiting for Morgan to get to his feet before going for Hecate’s Dagger! The Shotei Palm Strike misses however, with Morgan ducking underneath, turning around and immediately responding with a Headbutt! Corvin is stunned now, leaving an opening for Morgan to catch her with a Boot to the midsection, hunching her over! He clips her over the head with an Axe Kick, before going for the Discus Forearm to finish off “From Morgan, With Love”! But Corvin catches him mid-strike, throwing him down to the mat with an STO! Both competitors are down now, as the fans show their appreciation for this match!

Crowd: FIGHT FOR-EV-ER!
clap clap clap clap clap
Crowd: FIGHT FOR-EV-ER!
clap clap clap clap clap

Morgan and Corvin slowly make it back up to their feet, with Morgan being the first to strike, nailing Corvin over the head with a Forearm! Corvin responds, catching Morgan with a Forearm of her own! Morgan with a Forearm! Corvin with a Forearm! The two go back and forth until Corvin catches Morgan with a second Forearm in a row! She starts to batter him, seemingly getting upper hand! But Morgan catches her off guard, turning around from a Forearm to deliver a Back Elbow right to the side of her head! Morgan takes advantage now, hitting the ropes and going for the Hadron Collider! But Corvin catches the Spear, hoisting Morgan up on her shoulders and taking him down with a Double Knee Gutbuster! He’s left prone on the mat, leaving an opening for Corvin to climb the ropes and hit him with GODDESS’ FAVOR!! THE DOUBLE JUMP MOONSAULT CONNECTS!! Corvin with the pin!


Kick out by Morgan at the last possible moment! Corvin becomes frustrated now, getting him to his feet to finish things off, Morgan catches a glimpse of the referee on his way up for a split second, pulling him into position behind Corvin as she sets up! She lifts up Morgan, hitting him with THE GLORIFIER!! THE TWISTING, LIFTED, SIT OUT FACEBUSTER CONNECTS!! Corvin goes for the pin, but is shocked to see the referee laid out on the mat! When Corvin went to lift, Morgan sent an errant leg out, catching the strategically-placed official over the head with his boot! The crowd makes it to a ten count on Corvin’s pin, with it ultimately being meaningless! She gets Morgan to his feet, ready to batter him so that she can get the pin when the referee gets up! But “The Bastard King” really lives up to his moniker now, raking the eyes of Corvin before hitting the ropes and catching her with the SIX SHOOTER!! RUNNING, STANDING SHINING WIZARD CONNECTS, TURNING CORVIN INSIDE OUT!! Morgan shakes the referee back to consciousness, before going for the pin!

The referee raises Kai Morgan's hand up in victory, only for him to snatch it away immediately! He reaches over to the production crew, snatching a microphone out of their hand before immediately taking the NFW cube off of it and throwing it to the mat! He raises the mic to his mouth and begins to speak in an exhausted huff!

Kai Morgan: And just like that, Corvin? You came out a FAILURE for the SECOND week in a row! I bet your washed-up daddy would be real proud of you! Now roll on up outta my ring and backup that ramp with your tail tucked between ya legs, bitch!

The crowd showers Morgan with boos, all as he grabs a chair from the ringside area and uses it to sit down, right in the center of the ring.

Kai Morgan: Now I wanna address the big ass elephant in the room! See, at the beginning of 2022, I said I was done with Xander Fillmore! That I was done antagonizing him and that I had thoughts above him. Now, I’m not gonna tell you that I lied when I said that, because I didn’t lie, lying just isn’t something I do. But changing my mind is something I do quite often, which is why when I saw Xander Fillmore present himself the way he did in the face of a World Champion, well, that shit made me sick to my stomach! Just like the way he treated my company made me sick to my stomach, and not in the bullshit way Luthor Calloway claims it did to him!

Morgan pulls away, seemingly getting angrier as he continues.

Kai Morgan: But now people seem to be glorifying him! Revering him as this hero of NFW that’s gonna make all the bad people in Zion go away! Let me tell you, of all the people you wanted to bring over to “make us go away”, Xander Fillmore is amongst the worst of options! See, because Xander Fillmore for all intents and purposes is a failure. The proof is in his track record. It took him taking a match into his stomping grounds, with his rules, that he was well versed in to just barely take me out at WrestleWar! Then he takes this win, this one win amongst a pile of losses might I add, to heighten the little superiority complex that all of TRIOCS seems to have and to say that he’s better than me! Meanwhile, I’ve been undefeated in 2022 so far, not just here, but in other promotions! Can you say the same, Xander? I have gone my entire run in NFW without having my shoulders pinned to the mat for a count of three, or submitting to a hold! Can you say the same Xander?

Morgan smiles a bit, before returning to his angered state!

Kai Morgan: Truth is Fillmore, I’m better than you! Always have, always will be, so much so that you had to pull me down to your level in order to beat me! So here's what I propose: You come down here, with me battered up and ready for you…and I ultimately prove how inferior you are to me by stomping your little dick in the dirt after I just had one of the most hard-hitting matches of my career!

Morgan drops the microphone awaiting the very quick arrival of Xander Fillmore, who rushes down to the ring and immediately batters on Morgan, tackling him with a Double Leg Takedown and laying into him! The weeks of abuse on social media and on TV are finally coming to a head here! Morgan eventually pushes him off, with Fillmore immediately getting back to his feet and rushing back after Morgan! Just then, a knee finds its way right into Fillmore’s skull, with the Peacemaker falling to the mat! We pan over and it’s…Oliver Peters! He just laid Fillmore out with the Neurotoxin!

Peters helps Morgan to his feet, with Trixie Decker and FM Young now making their way down to the ring , with the TRIOCS duo and the tag team known as KTFO coming to blows here! Decker is easily able to dispose of Morgan, knocking him to the mat with a Forearm Smash! She’s just about to finish the deal, before someone grabs her from behind, getting her in a Pumphandle Position! It’s…Elijah Copeland! Coming in to drop Decker with The Money Maker! Peters is eventually able to make work of FM Young, getting her onto her shoulders before Morgan runs the ropes! He comes in and jumps high, working with Peters to take Young to the mat with the ‘Leven Shooter! The three TRIOCS members are laid out on the mat, with Peters, Morgan, and Copeland standing over them! They all share a smile with one another, before flashing the UE hand gesture, the signal of the United Elite, with the camera fading on them as they do!
The camera finds Sariel, Remiel and Hananiel all seemingly waiting for the red light to find them.

Sariel: The Storm has gathered its strength and now will unleash upon those that stand before them.

Remiel and Hananiel both nod to her.

Sariel: Happy are we that have been sent to stand before the unversed.

Both: By his word.

Sariel nods to the camera.

Sariel: And the versed one…

Remiel: Cali-Kate is aware of…

Hananiel: How things are and…

Remiel: She lives with things given…

Hananiel: By that which she currently slants against.

Remiel: Cali-Kate you speak against us but you…

Hananiel: Show no gratitude for what was…

Remiel: Freely given…

Hananiel: Things that can…

Both: Be taken away.

Sariel smiles.

Sariel: Your Russian Doll speaks of things he knows nothing about. A demonstration, freely given, will be happily administered. The Lord has spoken

Both: Ia faia lou finagalo...
The scene opens up backstage as Kristi Yahontov throws a few jabs and punches for a warm up. One of her hands is caught from off camera. Cali-Kate walks up with a ruthless grin.

Cali-Kate: I've been training you for almost four months now. You've watched me and all the matches here so far. You were a big fish in a very tiny pond, but now you're swimming with full blown sharks.

Kristi Yahontov: I'm not worried about it.

Cali-Kate: And that's going to be a mistake. We can't afford any out there. This is going to be our one chance to send a message back to Hell itself and tell the fucking Devil that no matter what I may have done or what I will do I am always going ro be here to stand in his way.

Kristi Yahontov: Trust me boss, let me deal with the heavy lifting. You just tell me who needs to get dropped.

Kate starts to pace around Kristi.

Cali-Kate: I won't tell you your confidence is misplaced, but don't let it fucking blind you. Hanaiel and Remiel are just the vanguard, but they are going to be the toughest opponents you have ever faced. And they have their own bond. One that runs deep. I trust you. I know I can count on you, but they can read the other.

Kristi Yahontov: Вы не можете напугать меня уродливыми описаниями. Я знаю, насколько они сильны, но они меня не видели. Они не знают меня. И Дьявол пожалеет, что не встретил меня до того, как я закончу. If you don't believe in the Devil, believe in me. Believe in my process. I'm gonna show them something they'll never see coming.

Kate looks at Kristi and smiles at her.

Cali-Kate: Good. If we're on the same page, I'm looking forward to seeing the looks on their faces when they find out that the gemstone isn't so fragile and possesses a ferocity under that beauty. Game Start, bitch!

Kristi Yahontov: It'll be game over for them.

Kate and Kristi slap hands together for a bit before Kate walks off. Kristi is left standing there backstage until someone walks up behind her and gives her a quick slap on the ass. Kristi squeals a bit and turns to see Kensaku Rodeezy standing behind her. She gives him a wink and a light tease with her fingers across his chin.

Kristi Yahontov: Я не забыл тебя. Мы собираемся повеселиться после того, как я закончу с ними сегодня вечером. Может быть, посмотреть, если вы наполовину человек, о котором вы думаете.

She gives him a wink and blows a kiss in his direction as well before she walks off following Kate. Kensaku just watches her ass as she walks off before the scene fades out.

Kristi Yahontov & Cali-Kate vs. Bene Elohim

Kate steps out to start for her team while Remiel steps out to meet her. The two lock-up in a collar and elbow tie-up. Kate executes a standing switch into a waistlock. Kate cracks Remile in the back with a lariat that sends the Korean woman stumbling towards the ropes. Kate runs over and hits a tiger feint kick that knocks Remiel back towards the center of the ring. Kate goes for a springboard diving double foot stomp and hits dead center on Remiel. Kate covers.

Remiel kicks out.

Kate gets up and takes the waistlock from behind again as Remiel regains her original upright posture. Remiel hits a back elbow smash and then spins into a kick that catches Kate in the face. Remiel tags in Hananiel. As Kate rises to her feet again. Hananiel comes in with a pump kick that knocks Kate down hard. Hananiel covers.

Cali-Kate kicks out.

Both get to their feet and Kate gets in behind Hananiel for an O’Connor roll.

Hananiel kicks out.

Kate is flung forward into the ropes and jumps into a quebrada. She rolls through and makes the take to Kristi. Kristi comes running in and jumps into a Thesz Press for a cover.

Hananiel kicks out.

Hananiel rolls into a Boston cab and then stands up into a deadlift bridging German suplex.

Kristi gets a shoulder up.

Hananiel keeps her hands clasped and stands up for another deadlift German suplex that releases her right next to the Bene Elohim corner. Hananiel tags in Remiel and Remiel springboards into a leg drop. She turns and covers Kristi.

Kristi kicks out.

Remiel tags in Hananiel and they shoot Kristi off to the ropes. She rebounds back and jumps into an attempt at a double clothesline. The Twins catch her and turn into a flapjack before sitting back into a double single leg crab. Kate comes in to make the save and the Twins release their grip and jump up into matching pump kicks that stop Kate in her tracks. They tie her up in the ropes and turn around just in time for Kristi to get up and run at them. This time they catch her for a double spinebuster, keeping her landing safely away from Kate. Remiel goes to the right, Hananiel to the left. They nod as Kristi goes to stagger up. As soon as she reaches her feet, the Twins drill her with the Revelator. Hananiel covers Kristi as Remiel turns to face Kate.


The Twins slip out to the floor and start walking away as Kate gets loose and comes to check on her fallen partner.

We cut to the outside of the Vlad Blackheart Memorial Coliseum where we see Captain Cosmo bent down and rummaging in one of the dumpsters.

Captain Cosmo: There must be some sort of clue in here somewhere! Have you found anything yet, friend Helena?!

We then see Zion’s Helena Handbasket roll past, stuck in a wire spool that disappears off camera and then a loud crash is heard that startles Cosmo who hits the back of his head off the dumpster lid and he immediately clutches his head.

Captain Cosmo: SON OF AN EMU!!!

The Captain staggers out from the dumpster and bends down off camera, still clutching the back of his head. After a few moments, Cosmo pops back up and Handbasket does the same as she blows some of her hair out of her face and they both awkwardly smile into the camera.

Captain Cosmo: Ah yes! Hello Cosmonauts! Sherlock Cosmo here! And he is being joined by his new Dr. Watson because Cameraman Jeff was useless as always! Please say hello to Dr. Helena Watson!

The Captain awkwardly motions towards Handbasket who waves into the camera. Helena just waves enthusiastically at the camera, wearing a monocle that’s hanging down off her long white coat with a magnifying glass in the hand that is waving.

Helena Handbasket: I’m lookin’ Sherlock Cosmo, Coslocke? I like that. Look, I’m tryin Coslocke, but the birbs have been rather bastardly this time. Found a lot of feathers and not much else. No sign of how anywho is gettin in here.

Captain Cosmo: Feathers?!

Cosmo’s eyes go wide as Cameraman Jeff zooms in on his shocked face and stays there for a few moments before zooming back out.

Captain Cosmo: Are they Emu feathers?!

Helena stands up straighter and wiggles her eyebrows probably for lack of any other facial expression to make at the moment.

Helena Handbasket: Ostrich, but that’s still mighty suspicious don’tchu think? I smell a conspiracy in the making.

The Captain takes his bubble pipe from his pocket and begins to puff away on it.

Captain Cosmo: Ostriches are very close to Emus, Dr. Watson! It would make a lot of sense for them to aid the dastardly Emu Federation!

Cosmo glances over to another dumpster and points over to it.

Captain Cosmo: Let’s check that dumpster over there for more clues!

Helena nods and the two make their way over to the other dumpster as Cameraman Jeff follows. As soon as they begin snooping in it however, a man with long scraggly hair and an unkempt beard with several missing teeth bursts out of it, startling both Cosmo and Handbasket.

Captain Cosmo: GAH!!!

Helena scrambles for a moment, dropping the magnifying glass and moving to catch it. Which leads to it bouncing several times, before hitting the side of the dumpster rolling off. Helena looks momentarily deflated before squinting at the garbage man.

Helena Handbasket: Woah! Wha? Holy Alisteer De HomelesBas’terd Batman! What are you up to good sir?! Coslocke, you know this bloke?

Cosmo’s eyes go wide as he clearly recognises the homeless man and he looks over to Handbasket.

Captain Cosmo: Great Scott, Dr. Watson! This is Sherlock Cosmo’s old friend, Ollie! Ollie the Magic Bum!

The Captain turns his attention back to his old friend.

Captain Cosmo: Hello again, friend Ollie! It has been a long time!

Ollie the Magic Bum: Hello, Cap! Who is your friend?!

Captain Cosmo: This is my crime investigating partner, Dr. Helena Watson!

Ollie looks over to Helena and removes the old greasy stained hat made out of newspaper off his head and nods towards her.

Ollie the Magic Bum: Pleasure to meet you, ma’am!

Helena claps excited, bouncing up and down in her dockers. She takes the bum's hand and shakes it so hard that poor Ollie almost comes out of the dumpster.

Helena Handbasket: OI! Nice to meetcha Ollie, haven’ seen any feathery and or unsavory types lullin about have ya?

Ollie quickly puts his finger up to his lips.

Ollie the Magic Bum: Shhh! They’re always listening!

Captain Cosmo: Do not fret, friend Ollie! Captain Cosmo has his Emu detector with him!

Cosmo removes some sort of device from inside his clothing, the best way to describe it would be an EMF reader you’d see on Supernatural.

Captain Cosmo: We only need to worry if this device starts beeping!

Helena chuckles and puffs her small framed self, compared to Ollie and Cosmo, she’s 5’2 and about 100 soaking wet if she puts on an extra pair of shoes.

Helena Handbasket: I’m not frettin over no flightless… Hey, Cap’n? Is that supposed to be beeping?

Helena pulls out a wrench, with lots of extra bits, like random gears and even an antenna. She swipes it over the Emu detector with a flourish that might better come from someone intimately familiar with fencing.

Helena Handbasket: Oh yeah, that’s definitely beeping. It’s makin’ some form of alert, I’d say. Even.

The Captain looks to his left and then to his right and his eyes go wide as he points off camera.

Captain Cosmo: EMU!!!

Both Helena and Ollie look in the direction Cosmo is pointing in and their jaws drop as Ollie then falls out of his dumpster. The three of them then run off in the opposite direction as we see someone in a giant emu costume chase after them as the theme from Scooby Doo begins to play. For several minutes, we see the trio run in the opposite direction they ran first, followed by the emu before it then shows the trio chasing after the emu and at one point the trio run onto camera from one side with the emu running onto camera from the opposite side and they freak at the sight of one another and then run off camera in the opposite direction.

Cameraman Jeff: I’m too old for this shit.

Suddenly, a pug randomly waddles into camera view as the emu runs into view as well, the two animals lock eyes with one another and the pug barks causing the emu to grab their head and stagger back and forth before collapsing to the floor. Cosmo, Helena and Ollie reappear on camera now just as the pug runs off and they all look down at the emu as the Scooby Doo theme cuts off.

Helena Handbasket: THE COSMIC PUG!

Helena immediately trips over the pug, not hurting it at all, rolling out of the camera frame. Only to come jumping back and waving her wrench around.

Captain Cosmo: Jinkies! What just happened?!

Helena Handbasket:That. That happened. Not sure what it was, or why, but it happened and it was bloody hilarious. My interdimensional music video powers must have kicked in there for a second. Why is there a giant emu?

Captain Cosmo: Captain Cosmo has a feeling this is not a real emu, friend Helena!

The “emu” slowly sits up, groggy from collapsing earlier as the Captain pulls the head off and he along with Helena and Ollie all gasp in unison.

Captain Cosmo: Isabella Santiago?!

We see Trauma General Manager, Isabella Santiago in the emu costume sitting there, doing her best to look angry.

Isabella Santiago: I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling kids and that damn dog!

Cosmo’s eyes suddenly widen again.

Captain Cosmo: THE COSMIC PUG!

The Captain along with Helena and Ollie all run off camera in the direction the pug ran off in as the camera slowly zooms in on Santiago’s face as she shakes her head and we cut elsewhere.

Coda vs. Stacy Jones ©

Stacy smiles, nodding to Coda. The Pint-Sized Kaiju nods back as they two step in for the tie-up. Stacy tries to scoop under because of her size advantage but finds Coda is too strong for that to work. As they step back, Coda jumps into a knee strike to the head that catches Stacy completely off-guard. Stacy staggers back and Coda comes with the Sonata Knee. Stacy goes down hard. Coda covers.

Stacy kicks out.

Coda mounts Stacy and starts to rain down open palm strikes. Stacy tries to roll out, but Coda adjusts to keep her position. Stacy covers up as Coda continues to pound away. Coda jumps into an anaconda vice and Stacy flails about looking for a way out. Coda starts to sit up and Stacy manages to get a foot on the bottom rope. Coda releases her grip immediately and backs off, looking the situation over again. Stacy staggers up against the ropes and Coda jumps into the Overture. Stacy’s eyes go wide as Coda slides right into the hold. She waits four seconds exactly and then releases her grip. Stacy staggers, holding her arm and Coda goes into the Crescendo. Stacy grabs the ropes and Coda is forced to release her grip again. Coda pulls Stacy over into an inside cradle.

Stacy kicks out.

Coda looks for a kick and Stacy catches it, spinning itnoa capture suplex. Cioda hits hard and Stacy gets a European uppercut followed by the Bat-Hammer. Coda goes down and Stacy covers.

Coda kicks out.

The two get to their feet and exchange strikes before Stacy gets the Unbreakable Cutter. Stacy covers.

Coda kicks out.

The two get up again and starts trading stiff kicks, Coda, Stacy, Coda, Stacy, Coda, Stacy, Coda, Stacy, Coda, Stacy, Coda, Stacy, Coda, Stacy, Coda, Stacy, Coda, Stacy. Coda jumps into a tornado ddt and trie for the guillotine again but Stacy is able to roll her up instead.

Coda kicks out.

Coda reverses the cradle.

Stacy kicks out.

Stacy gets Coda in a backslide.

Coda kicks out.

As they get up, Stacy hits another Bat-Hammer. Coda goes down and Stacy goes to the corner. She jumps off tor the RWYA and covers.

Backstage, we see a rush of security personnel trying to make their way to an ongoing fight, however they are kept at bay with Cappadonna flailing a nunchaku around as if she were in a Bruce Lee movie. Nari Chang joined in with a kendo stick, as the two would beat any officer who comes close, as Hayumi Yamamoto was attacking Malaya Diyosa once again, as she was furious about her involvement in Zion. Malaya was laid prone, and Hayumi straddled her, striking her fiercely, before taking a short break to speak to her.

Hayumi Yamamoto "You think that was funny?! You cost us the Trios titles, Malaya! Nari and Cap were always held back by you…"

Malaya Diyosa "Fuck you… Cassie was an ally, and they were blindly hateful to her. And you… you're nothing without them."

Malaya said, spitting in Hayumi's face while Malaya laughed at her, despite having taken an obvious beating, before being struck again.

Hayumi Yamamoto "You're weak… you betrayed our mission to further our people in this sport. I'm going to make an example out of you, Malaya. No one will cross the Triad and come away unscathed."

Hayumi said, before hitting Malaya with a backfist that knocked her out cold. She then stands up, having the camera reveal Cassie was handcuffed and forced to watch, as her mouth was taped shut so she couldn't cry out.

Hayumi Yamamoto "And you… you have poisoned the mind of our former sister-in-arms, but you'll be there to watch us dismantle her, and you will have no one to blame but yourself."

Hayumi said, as she left the room, with her subordinates following in suit.

Marco Valintine vs. Jessica Matthews

Before the bell rings, Jessica Matthews offers a hand towards Marco Valintine. He sees this and happily shakes her hand with a smile. Because Marco is Marco, he makes a kissy-kissy smooching sound towards Jessica, who rolls her eyes and lightly palms his mouth away from her. He can’t help but laugh before he steps into a ready stance. Jessica moves into her own fighting stance. Referee Ashley Campbell sees they’re both ready to compete and she signals for the bell.

The match begins with Marco and Jessica throwing a volley of strikes towards each other. Their agility makes their strikes as fast as lightning like they’re in a Dragon Ball Z fight! It’s hard for the fans to keep up while Marco and Jessica continue to trade blows. Marco delivers a knife-edge chop and Jessica winces, but she returns the favor. The two of them trade knife-edge chops across their chests, though it suddenly halts when Marco accidentally(?) hits Jessica’s breasts!

The fans GASP, the nearby camera’s microphone picks up Marco saying “oh shit!”, and Jessica GLARES at him. He tries to apologize, but she connects with a Solid Snake combo. Marco staggers back and Jessica quickly follows up with a shotgun dropkick that would make Adrien Cochrane proud! Valintine’s sent crashing into the turnbuckles after that. Matthews backpedals and runs forward, aiming for a flying forearm smash, but Valintine moves out of the way and she hits the top turnbuckle instead!

Matthews favors her right arm for a moment before Valintine takes her down with a hurricanrana. He goes for the pin, though she not only kicks out but rolls through and dropkicks Valintine onto the mat. Matthews goes for a standing moonsault, but Valintine rolls out of the way -- and she lands on her feet anyway! The two exchange aerial maneuvers to showcase their high flying skills, go for multiple pin attempts, and the fans are impressed. Campbell is keeping up with the action as Valintine launches Matthews towards the ropes, but she changes the motion and surprises him with “The (Improved) Dixon Arrow” (Springboard Backflip Inverted DDT)! Matthews covers Valintine and hooks the leg, but he kicks out at two.

Jessica holds onto the advantage for a little bit longer, catching Marco right under his chin with a running European uppercut her older brother would approve of. Still, Marco fights back, chaining together a variety of kicks from koppu to capoeira! Jessica staggers back and Marco follows up with a spinning headscissors that sends her across the ring. The Leviathan of Loving is quick to recover and hit his signature Standing Twisting SSP (Shooting Star Press)! Marco covers Jessica and hooks the leg, but she kicks out at two. The fans are happy to see the match continue as Marco takes the fight to Jessica. He connects with rights and lefts, quick shots she’s having trouble dodging, and he surprises her with a discus elbow that sends her over the top rope and out of the ring. Jessica barely manages to land on her feet and she tries to shake off the cobwebs. She’s not fast enough when Marco comes running and nails her with his signature Space Flying Tiger Drop! Jessica hits the floor with a THUD and the fans are going wild!

Mr. Not Safe For Work takes a moment to catch his breath while the referee begins an official count. He checks on the Protégé of Ricky Valero who’s probably seeing stars and he pulls her to her feet. Valintine rolls Matthews back into the ring and follows after her to stop Campbell’s count. He goes for the cover and hooks her leg, but Matthews kicks out at two anyway! Valintine pulls her to her feet and chains together a series of quick strikes -- when suddenly Matthews seizes his right arm! Valintine’s unable to stop the quick-time event and suffers a double knee armbreaker that leads into the Eternal Paladin’s “Guardian of the Enterprise” (Cross Armbreaker Hold)! Valintine is writhing in pain as Matthews torques the submission hold in the center of the ring. The referee checks on Valintine, but he refuses to give up, even as he struggles to break away. After several painful seconds, Valintine gets his right foot on the bottom rope and Matthews immediately breaks the hold without the need for a five-count.

Jessica’s strategy changes so she can keep Marco grounded as long as possible. She connects with a couple of stiff shots she learned from a former Saint long ago and swiftly moves behind Marco. The Nerd Extraordinaire levels him with a German suplex, but when she tries to fluidly lock him into “Omni-Lionheart” (Calf Killer), he breaks away! Once they’re back on their feet, Jessica spins around Marco until she’s behind him and goes through with a rolling release suplex. Yet despite the pain, he recovers! When Jessica tries to attack him, Marco performs a little parkour to evade her. He swiftly drives her onto the mat with his signature Running Cartwheel Knee Strike to the back of her neck! Jessica’s completely prone, allowing the First-Class Fighter to quickly climb the turnbuckles and beautifully execute “Head Over Heels” (Double Rotation Moonsault)! Marco covers Jessica and she’s unable to roll high for the death-saving throw, earning him the three count!


Thea Crawford: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match… “The Architect of the Air” MARCO VALINTINE!

Seth Ernst: Wow! What a performance, folks. After all that, Marco Valintine scores the win!

Miranda Augustino: Ayyy, you gotta give Mrs. Matthews credit. Chica is as tough as they come! The pretty boy had to fight for that victory!

Seth Ernst: There’s no denying that, Mir. Great showcase of agility and high flying by Valintine and Matthews!

As “Supersonic Sex Machine” by Steel Panther plays from the PA system, Valintine doesn’t immediately celebrate his victory. He checks on Matthews who’s stunned, but she throws him a peace sign to let him know she’s okay. Valintine smiles and helps Matthews to her feet. The camera’s mic can pick up his sincere apology for the accidental knife-edge chop to her bosom. She smiles, shakes her head, and raises his left arm to glorify his victory. The fans cheer and applaud the good sportsmanship of both competitors before Trauma goes to commercial.

The scene opens with just a flaming oil barrel in front of a brick wall, the fire crackling softly in the background, as we can hear footsteps drawing closer to the camera, before eventually revealing who they are.

Kasey Kash: ”Well… well… fucking well. Looks like I managed to secure myself some more air time on this… glorious… broadcast. This civil war between Zion and NFW seems to be in full fucking swing… and now I’ve been dragged into the middle of it, after I’ve said all along that I don’t care about what’s going on there, my best friend runs one of the companies, and the guy that kept me around longer than he needed to runs the other. I’ve had no horse in this race, but seemingly now I do, which if you ask me, is complete and utter bullshit.”

Kasey begins pacing around the flaming oil drum.

Kasey Kash: ”You see. If I WANTED to be a part of this, I would’ve made my allegiance known at the start of this war. But I didn’t, you know why? Because I don’t give a fuck about this dick measuring contest. But now… now I HAVE to care about this contest, because you fucking dickheads picked me for this battle royal bullshit. I can’t even begin to understand what your thinking might’ve been. You picked a guy who’s on both rosters, has ties to both companies…So, how am I gonna react to being in this match?”

The camera pans up to show just his face, and he smirks.

Kasey Kash: ”Well I guess you’ll all have to wait and find out… I guess I’ll be seeing you all soon.”

With that, Kasey walks away from the camera as it pans back down to the fire, before fading out.
Ashley Kenyon: Y’all know these fuckers are gonna pull some shady shit on us, right?

The camera opens up on the four members of Arsenal all sitting in a circle on metal folding chairs.

Bethany Kenyon: We don’t know that for sure, Ash.

Ashley nods vehemently.

Ashley Kenyon: Yeah, we fuckin’ do, Bethy! They do it all the time. You know damn well that they’re gonna try and keep that Profeta chick away from us and then pull some shit with a weapon. Write. It. Down!

Bethany just shoots her sister a disapproving look.

Bethany Kenyon: Ash…

Ashley crosses her arms.

Ashley Kenyon: I’m telling you.

Jeszika Gautier: Guys, guys…

Ashley shrugs.

Ashley Kenyon: I’m just saying…

Nikki nods to everyone.

Nikki Peltier: Is everyone ready for this? We know Lady Death and Santa Muerta will work well together. La Profeta is a wild card owing to how little is really known about her.

Ashley rolls her eyes.

Ashley Kenyon: It’s a fuckin’ sacrilege is what it is! La Profeta gets to be a champion by basically doing nothing and the other two make sure everybody else gets fucked directly in tyhe ass and we’re supposed to call them champions…

Bethany Kenyon: They ARE the champions whether you like it or not!

Jeszika shrugs.

Jeszika Gautier: She’s kind of got a point, B.

Nikki Peltier: Be careful with that kind of thinking or we’ll find ourselves getting caught off-guard by her doing something.

Ashley waves her hand dismissively.

Ashley Kenyon: Yeah, yeah, yeah, let’s just get ready for a fight we know ain’t gonna be fair!

ARSENAL vs. La Sirvientas de Yum Kimil ©

La Profeta directs her painted minions to work over Bethany Kenyon to start. Lady Death and Santa Muerta take turns doing just this before they hit a double DDT and Lady Death covers Bethany.

Bethany kicks out.

Lady Death and Santa Muerta continue to work over Bethany until the blonde Kenyon Sister breaks loose and drops both of them with roundhouse kicks. She makes the tag to Jeszika Gautier who comes in like a house of fire and drops both painted ladies with lariats before nailing La Profeta with one off the apron as well. La Profeta falls to the floor and Jeszika goes to town on Lady Death and Santa Muerte. She knocks Muerta from the ring and then hits a DDT on Lady Death. Jeszika covers.

Lady Death kicks out.

Jeszika makes the tag to Bethany and she comes in allowing the two of them to execute a double dropkick on Santa Muerte and then a double spinebuster on Lady Death. Jeszika goes back to their corner as Bethany covers.

Santa Muerte breaks it up.

Santa Muerte starts to beat on Bethany only for Jeszika and Ashley to come in and even the odds. They try to set up for Up Your Arsenal only for La Profeta to jump up onto the apron and distract the referee. Arsenal dumps Santa Muerta again and hits Up Your Arsenal on Lady Death. La Profeta comes in and attacks Jeszika and Bethany. The two women start to beat her down even as the referee tries to separate them to regain order. With all eyes there, Santa Muerte dives into the ring with a macuahuitl and blasts Ashley in the back of the head with it. Ashley goes down like she’s been shot. Santa Muerte puts Lady Death on top and then dumps the weapon to the floor. Santa Muerte goes into the fight and as the referee backs up, he notices the cover. He drops down to count.


Santa Muerte pulls La Profeta out of the fight and slides to the floor. Lady Death crawls out to meet them as they collect their macuahuitl and their championships and hurriedly take their leave. Bethany and Jeszika go over to check on the fallen Ashley while the crowd boos vociferously.